English version after Chinese version
Paul Tian
人类的社会组织总是呈现出纷繁复杂、多种多样的人际关系。英文用dynamic来描述这样的关系，意指这些关系是流动的，时时变化着的，牵一发而动全身的。有些中文语境把dynamic翻译成“场”，以此与普通的“关系”加以区别。一个“场”内部的结构和相互的张力，会随着其中一个因素的变化而整体改变。若要简单化对这些关系场的观察，心理学里有一个角度，即权力场（Power Dynamic）。
在家庭咨询中，很多咨询师都会从权力场的角度解读一个家庭的运作方式。权力，不论是从我们的生物属性，还是社会关系，都是最古老的人际能量纽带。它塑造人，也毁灭人。它凝聚人们，也拆散人们。
Greene（2000）将人对权力的渴望和追求视为常态。他提出，当一个人可以面对自己对权力的需要，并为之做功课的时候，他们反而会扮演好自己的社会角色，更好地承担社会义务，并成为更受欢迎和自在的个体。他的视角也有冷酷的一面：大家都在玩权力的游戏，没有无辜的世外之人，只是各自获得权力的策略各不相同。Greene从文学历史的角度去观察人性在权力面前的表现；而心理学对权力的观察则加入了对人格与情感的思考。
Nakken（1996）肯定了人对权力的需求，但是也观察到，有一些人好像对权力格外执着。这些人好像对权力总是欲求不满，权力变成了他们的终极目的。在权力之外，他们的生活再无其他意义。而他们对权力的追求，是为了填补那份永远也无法被安抚的内心不安全感。Nakken称这一类型的人为权力中心型人格（Power-centered personality）。权力中心型人格的人们看似拥有或不断获取他们的权力，可最终却与多疑和恐惧相伴。他们想通过拥有权力让自己获得安全，可是身边的任何变化与不可控因素都会让他们紧张，并处于不安。权力越大，管控得越多，可能出问题的地方就越多。他们要不断确保周围的人、事、物是可控的。在面对新生事物的陌生和无措时，他们要通过掌控它们来获得安全感。对于权力中心型人格的人们来说，消除这些不安的、或潜在问题的方法就是牢牢控制住他们的权力，并且不断的增加自己的权力。由此，他们陷入了自己的循环之中：恐惧——寻求权力——更多的恐惧——寻求更大的权力。生活中，最常见的获取权力的方式便是“对、错”之争。权力中心型人格的人们总是强调他们信奉的道理。看似在寻求客观真理，实则在过程中暗度陈仓，满足自己对权力的需求。
Nakken强调人在权力之上需要意义与信仰来支撑；他也提到权力中心型人格很难从自己的内心中获得安全与信任。我们内心的安全感与同父母的依附关系有很大的相关性。父母对待婴儿的方式，会成为婴儿感知并看待自己的一部分（Thomson Salo，2005）。婴儿会把父母对待自己的方式内化为自己的一部分——内在父母。内在父母会在很长的一段时间里，成为人们生命的一部分，与人们共处。对于有些人来说，内在父母可能与他们终生相伴。这内在父母是爱的、温柔的、相信的、鼓励的，还是恨的、焦虑的、不安的与打压的，将影响孩子内在的自我认可和内在的安全感。
人类从婴儿的早期阶段就开始表现出对主动施加影响的兴趣。Thomson Salo（2005）观察到比起被动活动（比如不让婴儿做什么或对婴儿的行为进行限制），婴儿更喜欢主动施加影响给外界的环境和人，并在与环境和人的主动互动中获得快乐。这也许就是我们天性中对权力的享乐吧。
References
Greene, R. (2000). The 48 laws of power. Penguin Books.
Nakken, C. (1996). The addictive personality (2nd ed.). Hazelden Foundation.
Thomson Salo, F. (2005). You and your baby. H. Karnac (Books) Ltd.
English version
The Power Paradox: Control as a Consequence of Deep Insecurity
By Paul Tian
Human social organization always presents itself as a complex and diverse tapestry of interpersonal relationships. The word dynamic describes these relationships as fluid and always shifting, where a change in one part affects everything else. In some Chinese contexts, dynamic is translated as "field" (场) to set it apart from regular relationships. When any single factor changes, the whole structure and balance of the field change too. To simplify the observation of these relational fields, psychology offers a perspective called the Power Dynamic.
In family counseling, many therapists interpret a family's operation through the lens of the power dynamic. Power, whether it comes from our biology or our social ties, is one of the oldest forces in human relationships. It can shape people or break people. It can bring people together or drive people apart.
Greene (2000) normalized the human desire and pursuit of power. He believes that when people accept their need for power and work at it, they can do better in their social roles, handle responsibilities, and feel more comfortable and liked. His perspective also has a cold side: everyone is playing the game of power, there are no innocent outsiders, only differing strategies for gaining it. While Greene looks at power through literature and history, psychology also considers personality and emotions.
Nakken (1996) agrees that people need power but also notes that some individuals are especially obsessed with it. These individuals never seem satisfied, making power their ultimate goal in life. Outside of power, their lives hold no other meaning. Their drive for power comes from a deep sense of insecurity. Nakken calls this the Power-Centered Personality. People with this personality may have or keep gaining power, but they also feel paranoid and afraid. They look for safety by controlling power, but any change or unexpected event makes them anxious. The more power they have and try to control, the more things can go wrong. They feel they must keep everything and everyone around them under control. When new or unfamiliar things happen, they try to feel safe by mastering them. For people with a Power-Centered Personality, the only way to deal with their worries is to keep a tight grip on power and always try to get more. This traps them in a cycle: Fear → Seeking Power → More Fear → Seeking Greater Power. In everyday life, they often gain power by arguing about what is "right and wrong." They keep stressing their own principles. While it may look like they are searching for the truth, they are really trying to meet their need for power.
Nakken emphasizes that beyond power, humans require meaning and spirituality for support. He says that people with a Power-Centered Personality have a hard time finding security and trust from within. Our internal sense of security is highly correlated with our attachment relationships with our parents. The way parents treat an infant becomes a part of how the infant perceives and views themselves (Thomson Salo, 2005). The infant internalizes the way their parents treated them as part of themselves—the inner parent. This inner parent stays with a person for a long time, sometimes for life. Whether this inner parent is loving, gentle, trusting, and encouraging, or hateful, anxious, insecure, and suppressive, will affect the child's inner self-acceptance and security.
Even as infants, people show a desire to actively exert influence on their surroundings. Thomson Salo (2005) found that rather than passive activities (such as being restricted or having their behavior limited), infants enjoy exerting their influence on the external environment and people, and they find joy in engaging and interacting with them. This could be where our enjoyment of power comes from, built into our very nature.
References
Greene, R. (2000). The 48 laws of power. Penguin Books.
Nakken, C. (1996). The addictive personality (2nd ed.). Hazelden Foundation.
Thomson Salo, F. (2005). You and your baby. H. Karnac (Books) Ltd.
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